Get ready to wade into laughter — because these hippopotamus jokes are huge! From safari silliness to pond puns, hippos are the heavyweight champions of comedy. Whether you’re a kid giggling at their goofy grins or an adult with a wild sense of humor, these jokes are sure to make a splash.
😂 Classic Hippopotamus Jokes That Never Sink
Why did the hippopotamus cross the river? To prove he wasn’t a chicken-potamus!
What do you call a hippo who tells jokes? A pun-potamus!
Why did the hippo sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn’t sink in his cocoa!
What’s a hippo’s favorite game? Hungry Hungry Humans.
How does a hippo apologize? “I’m hippo-logetic!”
What do you call a polite hippo? Courte-potamus.
What sound does a fancy hippo make? “Hip-po-po-po-po-po!”
How do hippos greet each other? “Long time no seaweed!”
What’s a hippo’s favorite fruit? Water-melown.
Why don’t hippos ever get lost? They always follow the current!
🪩 Funny Hippopotamus Jokes for Kids
What’s big, gray, and sings lullabies? A hippo-ra!
What do baby hippos call their parents? Hip-pa and Hip-ma!
What do hippos wear to bed? Their jammopotamuses!
What’s a hippo’s favorite subject? Hip-story.
What do you call a hippo magician? Hocus-hippo-cus!
How does a hippo write a letter? With a hip-pen!
Why did the hippo eat his homework? His teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What’s a hippo’s favorite holiday? Hippo-ween!
How do hippos take selfies? With their hippo-phone.
What’s a hippo’s favorite sport? Swamp-ball!
💕 Romantic Hippopotamus Jokes
You’re hippo-tizing!
I’m not lion — I’m hippo-ly in love.
You make my heart go splash!
Let’s never break up — we’re too hippo-cute together.
You’re my main squeeze (and I mean that literally).
I’d cross the Nile just to see you smile.
You’ve got me feeling hippo-hearted.
Our love’s deeper than the Zambezi.
You make my big heart flutter.
Together, we’re un-sink-able.
🤣 One-Liner Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos don’t sweat — they glow in the swamp.
I’m feeling a little hippo-critical today.
Hippos: proof that thick skin’s beautiful.
Be hippo-positive!
When life gives you rivers, float!
Hippos don’t diet, they just eat less boats.
My favorite yoga pose? Hippo-asana.
Hippos don’t have issues — they have tissues.
Swamp hair, don’t care.
Big body, bigger heart.
🪶 Animal Kingdom Hippopotamus Jokes
Why don’t hippos play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
What’s a hippo’s favorite bird? The flamingo-go-go!
Why did the hippo hang out with elephants? They were trunk buddies.
How do hippos cheer? They go hip-hip-hooray!
What’s a hippo’s least favorite animal? The crocodile dentist.
Why did the lion invite the hippo to dinner? He needed a big appetite.
What’s a hippo’s motto? “Float big or go home.”
Hippos and frogs make great friends — both love swamp talk.
How do you spot a happy hippo? He’s bubbling with joy.
Why don’t hippos argue with rhinos? Thick-skinned respect.
🌴 Safari Hippopotamus Jokes
What’s a safari without a hippo? Un-bear-able!
Tourists always stop for the hippos — they’re the main attraction.
How do you impress a hippo on safari? Don’t tip the jeep!
Hippos don’t do selfies — they do splashies.
Safari rule #1: never interrupt a hippo bath.
The guide said, “Don’t worry, they’re herbivores” — right before they charged!
Hippos don’t roar — they rumble.
Safari slang: “That’s one hippo-tastic view.”
You can’t spell safari without “hippo” (well, you can, but you shouldn’t).
Hippos: nature’s bouncers.
🧠 Smart Hippopotamus Jokes
What do you call a hippo with a degree? A gradu-potamus!
How do hippos study? They cram before the splash test.
Why did the hippo get straight A’s? He had great hippo-theses.
Hippos always excel at math — lots of natural logs.
What’s a hippo scientist called? A swampologist.
Hippos know everything about pond-er pressure.
Never underestimate a hippo’s IQ — Incredible Quirkiness!
The hippo invented waterproof Wi-Fi.
Genius level: hippo-critical thinking.
Smartest in the herd award: always the hippo-crat.
🦛 Hippo Wordplay Galore
Hippo-pot-a-muse: inspiration for fat jokes.
Hippo-gram: a very heavy message.
Hippo-pot-a-snore-us: that loud sleeper next to you.
Hippo-thesize: what scientists do when guessing why hippos dance.
Hippo-therapy: laughter cure for big problems.
Hippo-tastic: something truly enormous and awesome.
Hippo-camp: where kids learn to splash responsibly.
Hippo-mania: obsession with adorable chonks.
Hippo-holic: can’t stop talking about them.
Hippo-holidays: where you do absolutely nothing.
🛶 River Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos don’t swim — they strut underwater.
River’s rule: never block a hippo’s lane.
Why did the fish avoid the hippo? He was too deep.
The river’s calm — until hippo o’clock.
Hippos are the real water influencers.
Every splash tells a hippo story.
Hippos don’t float — they bounce.
Riverbank gossip? Hippos heard it all.
Don’t mess with a hippo’s bubble bath.
That’s one current event you can’t ignore.
🪺 Family Hippopotamus Jokes
Mama hippo says: “No rough splashing indoors!”
Papa hippo snores louder than the waves.
Baby hippos: 10% cute, 90% hungry.
Sibling splash fights: tradition since forever.
Family motto: “Eat, nap, splash, repeat.”
Grand-hippo loves her swamp tales.
Family picnics? Mud mandatory.
Cousin Carl’s the black sheep — turned crocodile.
Sunday dinner: 50 pounds of greens, no leftovers.
Hippo hugs? Handle with caution.
🌊 Water-Loving Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos invented the cannonball.
Favorite spa treatment? Mud wrap!
Water’s not wet — it’s hippo-approved.
They don’t tan, they glow.
Hydro-therapy by hippo.
Splish, splash, I was taking a nap.
Ocean? Too salty. River? Just right.
Hippos drink the spotlight and the river.
They’re basically water balloons with teeth.
Splash levels: expert.
🤪 Silly Hippopotamus Jokes
What did one hippo say to the other? “Stop hogging the mud!”
Hippos don’t diet — they deep fry their lettuce.
I asked a hippo for directions — he pointed underwater.
What do hippos eat for dessert? Marsh-mud-lows!
How do hippos dance? With hip-motion!
Hippos never skip leg day.
When in doubt, roll in the mud.
Hippos are the true heavyweights of humor.
They’re so hip, even their name starts with “hip.”
I’m hippo-ver heels laughing!
🪞 Self-Care Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos meditate by the river.
Their skincare? Mud, obviously.
Spa day every day.
Body positivity icon since forever.
Hippos don’t count calories — they count naps.
Rest is resistance — hippo edition.
Self-love: thick skin and big smiles.
The original wellness influencers.
No filters, just ripples.
Peace, love, and pond time.
🎉 Party Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos throw the best splash bashes.
Bring your own lily pad!
Their playlist? “Rolling in the Deep.”
DJ Hip-hop-opotamus on the mix.
Cake? More like an entire watermelon.
Streamers? Nah, just streams.
Their parties are wild — literally.
Dance floor = river floor.
Guest list: frogs, flamingos, and one confused turtle.
Always ends in a mud bath.
🌞 Summer Hippopotamus Jokes
Hot hippo summer is here!
SPF: Super Plump Friend.
Don’t sweat it — splash it.
Hippo pool parties are elite.
Favorite drink? Swamp smoothie.
They don’t tan; they shimmer.
Hippos invented the floatie.
Summer goal: stay submerged.
Mellow yellow? More like muddy gray.
River vibes only.
❄️ Winter Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos don’t hibernate — they hydrate.
Ice? Just crunchy water.
Hippos wear snow-boots for style.
Winter splash parties hit different.
Frostbite? Never heard of her.
“Let It Flow” is their favorite song.
Hot cocoa? Mud-flavored, of course.
Snowmen envy their body heat.
Thick skin, warm heart.
Chill-potamus vibes only.
🎨 Creative Hippopotamus Jokes
Hippos paint with their tails (don’t ask).
Mud murals are their specialty.
Art class motto: “Make it splash!”
Every footprint’s a masterpiece.
Hippo Picasso in the making.
They sculpt with mud and joy.
Watercolors? Try rivercolors.
Hippo art is always abstract — very abstract.
Their muse? Lunch.
Signed, sealed, and splashed.
🏆 Legendary Hippopotamus Jokes
The OG of the river.
Hippos walked so whales could swim.
Hippo-cules: hero of the swamp.
The legend says: if you hear a splash, it’s comedy.
Their ancestors invented floatation.
No one out-relaxes a hippo.
The hippo king sits wherever he wants.
Crown made of reeds and confidence.
The myth, the mammal, the marvel.
Hippos never fade — they ripple.
💚 Positive Hippopotamus Jokes
Be hippo-tastic, not hippo-critical.
Love yourself, no matter the swamp.
Big hearts, big laughs.
Stay grounded (literally).
Every body’s a beach body.
Happiness is hippo-made.
Float through tough times.
Keep it chill, keep it splashy.
Smile wide, laugh louder.
Hippo vibes only!
🦛 Legendary Hippo Jokes to End With a Splash
Hippos don’t walk — they bounce.
The river’s truest comedian.
Heavy on humor, light on stress.
They invented the belly flop.
The puddle prince returns!
Splash goals: achieved.
Hippos never quit — they just float away.
Too hip to quit.
The laughter herd never ends.
Hippo ever after!
FAQs?
Q: What are hippopotamus jokes?
A: Fun, pun-filled jokes about hippos — nature’s funniest giants!
Q: Are hippo jokes good for kids?
A: Absolutely! They’re clean, cute, and splash-safe for all ages.
Q: Can I use these jokes on social media?
A: Of course — make your followers hippo-happy!
Q: What’s the funniest hippo pun?
A: “You’re totally hippo-tizing!”
Q: Why do hippos make people laugh?
A: Because they’re naturally punny and delightfully round!
Q: Can hippo jokes be romantic?
A: Yes! Try “I’m hippo-ly in love with you.”
Q: Are hippos good comedians?
A: The best — they’ve got real splash presence.
Q: Where do hippos go to relax?
A: The Laugh-tanic River!
Q: Are there hippo dad jokes?
A: Tons — big, bold, and belly-friendly.
Q: Where can I find more?
A: Dive into more laughs at Punswave.com!
Conclusion
And that’s the end of our hippo-sized hilarity! From swampy puns to splashy one-liners, we’ve waddled through the wildest, wackiest world of hippopotamus jokes. Whether you’re trying to lighten up a rainy day or just want to make someone snort with laughter, these jumbo jests deliver. For more beastly belly laughs, pun-packed articles, and animal antics, take a giant step over to PunsPlanet.com your habitat for humor!
