Get ready to web your way into a good time! 🕸️💥 Whether you’re a die-hard Marvel fan or just love a good laugh, these Spider Man jokes will have you slinging giggles faster than Spidey swings through New York City. From Peter Parker’s punny punchlines to villains getting roasted harder than the Daily Bugle headlines, this collection is full of amazing, spectacular, and downright incredible humor.
🕸️ Spider Man One-Liners
With great power comes great punchlines.
Peter Parker’s favorite app? Insta-web.
I’m just hanging around today.
Spider-Man doesn’t need WiFi — he’s always connected.
My Spidey sense says… it’s coffee time.
Arachnid? Nah, just arach-nice!
No web, no gain.
When Spider-Man gets cold — he wears a web sweater.
That’s some sticky business.
Keep calm and web on.
😂 Short Spider Man Jokes
Why did Spider-Man break up with his girlfriend?
Because she found him too clingy!What did Spider-Man say to the thief?
“You’re tangled in my problems now!”Why doesn’t Spider-Man use public transport?
Because he takes the webway!Why is Spider-Man good at social media?
Because he always gets caught in the web!What do you call Spider-Man when he can’t find his suit?
Peter Parked!Why does Spider-Man make a terrible chef?
Because he keeps sticking to the pan!How does Spider-Man like his eggs?
Web-scrambled.What’s Spider-Man’s favorite game?
Hide and web-seek!Why did Spider Man fail his math test?
He got stuck on the problems.What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of shoes?
Web-sandals!
📸 Spider Man Caption Ideas
Just hanging out.
Web-slinging through life.
My Spidey sense says… selfie time!
Not all heroes wear capes — some spin them.
Webbed and ready.
Living life one swing at a time.
Feeling a little webby today.
Call me your friendly neighborhood comedian.
Saving the day, one meme at a time.
Webs > WiFi.
💬 Funny Spider-Man Puns
You’ve got me in your web of charm.
That was an amazing joke — literally!
I’m feeling Marvel-ous today.
Don’t bug me, I’m busy spinning ideas.
Peter Parker called — he wants his humor back.
Totally webbed out right now.
That joke was un-bee-lievable — oh wait, wrong insect.
Keep your web clean, hero.
Great jokes come with great laughter.
Just trying to weave some humor into your day.
🎢 Spidey’s Theme Park Thrills
Why did Spider-Man love roller coasters? They loop like his swings.
What’s Spidey’s favorite ride? The Web Drop.
Why did Peter skip the water ride? Didn’t want wet webs.
What did Spider-Man say at the haunted house? “Creepy… but not villain-level.”
Why did Spidey buy cotton candy? It reminded him of fluffy webs.
Why did Peter avoid bumper cars? Too many sticky collisions.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite carnival game? Ring-a-web.
Why did Spidey win all the prizes? Great aim with a web shot.
Why did Peter visit the Ferris wheel twice? For the swinging view.
What did Spider-Man say leaving the park? “That was a thrill web!”
🏫 Schoolyard Spidey
Why did Spider-Man ace English class? He knew all the web-words.
What’s Spidey’s favorite subject? Web-ology.
Why did Peter bring string to school? For extra web credit.
What did Spider-Man write in his essay? “With great grammar comes great responsibility.”
Why is Spidey good at science? He’s great at lab work.
Why did Peter get detention? He stuck around too long after class.
What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite subject? Web-sterian history.
Why did Spidey love art class? He could draw connections.
Why is Peter’s homework always neat? He keeps it in a web folder.
Why did Peter love recess? Perfect time to hang out.
🏋️ Gym Class Heroes
Why did Spider-Man join the track team? He’s great at sprinting up walls.
What’s Spidey’s favorite sport? Web-ball.
Why did Spidey get kicked out of yoga? He was too flexible.
Why is Spider-Man good at dodgeball? He can sense danger.
Why did Spidey join the swim team? For the wave of victory.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite gym machine? The climbing ropes.
Why did Peter skip weightlifting? He didn’t want to strain his web.
Why does Spidey always win tug-of-war? He’s got sticky grip.
Why did Spider-Man take karate? To kick bad guys.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite warm-up? Spider squats.
🍕 Pizza Time!
Why did Spider-Man order extra cheese? He wanted a cheesy ending.
What’s Spidey’s favorite pizza topping? Web-roni.
Why did Peter take so long to eat his pizza? He got stuck in conversation.
Why did Spider-Man start a pizzeria? To deliver justice.
What’s Spidey’s favorite crust? Thin web.
Why did Spider-Man refuse pineapple on pizza? It didn’t stick with him.
How does Spider-Man eat pizza on the go? Web-wrapped slices.
Why did Spidey tip the delivery guy so well? He knows hard work pays off.
What’s Peter’s favorite pizza place? Webb’s Pizzeria.
Why did Spider-Man’s pizza shop close? Too many crusty villains.
🎤 Mic-Drop Moments
Why did Spider-Man try stand-up comedy? To spin some laughs.
What’s Spidey’s favorite joke format? Web-liners.
Why did Spider-Man bomb on stage? His punchlines didn’t stick.
How does Spidey start a joke? “Here’s the web of it…”
Why did Spider-Man get a standing ovation? His jokes landed perfectly.
What’s Peter’s least favorite heckle? “You’re bugging me!”
Why did Spidey bring a broom on stage? To sweep the crowd.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite comedy club snack? Web-pretzels.
Why is Spidey a great MC? He can rope in the audience.
What did Spider-Man say after a bad set? “Guess I’m tangled up in my thoughts.”
🛒 Spidey at the Store
Why did Spider-Man buy duct tape? For emergency web repairs.
What’s Spidey’s favorite aisle? Webbing supplies.
Why did Peter buy so many shoes? He’s always on his feet.
What’s Spider-Man’s go-to snack? Sticky buns.
Why did Spidey avoid the produce section? Too many creepy crawlers.
Why did Peter grab extra detergent? To wash away villain vibes.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite cereal? Frosted Webs.
Why did Spidey need a cart? His hands were full of justice.
Why did Peter skip the candy aisle? Too many sticky situations.
What did Spider-Man say at checkout? “Put it on my web card.”
🚇 Subway Spider
Why did Spider-Man ride the subway? His webs needed a rest day.
What’s Spidey’s favorite train line? The Web Express.
Why did Spider-Man get strange looks on the train? He was hanging from the ceiling.
Why did Peter give up his seat? Because heroes share.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite announcement? “Mind the gap in the web.”
Why did Spidey avoid rush hour? Too tangled.
Why did Peter bring a book? For web-lit reading.
What’s Spidey’s go-to subway snack? Web-wrapped sandwiches.
Why did Spider-Man get lost underground? He followed the wrong thread.
What did Spidey say when the train was late? “Guess we’re caught in a delay.”
🛏️ Sleepy Spider
Why did Spider-Man take a nap? To recharge his spider-sense.
What’s Spidey’s favorite type of pillow? Web-fill.
Why does Peter always sleep well? He’s tucked in tight.
Why did Spider-Man dream about flying? He swung into slumber.
What’s Spidey’s least favorite alarm? Villain sirens.
Why did Peter set two alarms? To avoid a web-late start.
Why did Spider-Man wear socks to bed? For toe protection.
Why is Spidey a quiet sleeper? He doesn’t snore, he spins.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite bedtime story? Charlotte’s Web.
Why did Peter go to bed early? He had a web-packed day.
🎮 Gamer Spidey
Why did Spider-Man love video games? He could web-win.
What’s Spidey’s favorite game? Call of Web-y.
Why did Peter rage quit? He got tangled in controls.
Why does Spider-Man always win racing games? He takes the web shortcut.
Why did Spidey buy a headset? To web-chat.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite console? PlayWebStation.
Why did Spidey pause the game? Villains don’t wait.
Why did Peter love puzzle games? He’s a thread solver.
What’s Spidey’s go-to snack for gaming? Web chips.
Why did Spider-Man stream his gameplay? For web followers.
🐾 Animal Encounters
Why did Spider-Man befriend a cat? They both land on their feet.
What’s Spidey’s favorite pet? A tarantula.
Why did Peter avoid the dog park? Too many barking villains.
Why did Spidey love birds? They can fly alongside him.
What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite insect? Fly guys.
Why did Peter feed the squirrels? He respects acorn-ic justice.
Why did Spider-Man stop to watch ants? Teamwork inspires him.
What’s Spidey’s favorite fish? Net fish.
Why did Peter avoid bees? Too buzz-y.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite zoo exhibit? The arachnid house.
🍿 Marvel Mash-Ups
Why did Spider-Man hang out with Thor? For hammer time.
Why did Spidey team up with Doctor Strange? To untangle timelines.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite Avenger? The web-credible Hulk.
Why did Spidey and Iron Man get along? They shared tech tips.
What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite hero? Ant-Man (competition).
Why did Peter text Captain Marvel? For flight advice.
Why did Spider-Man bring snacks to the Avengers meeting? For web-sharing.
What’s Spidey’s favorite Marvel team-up? Web and Fury.
Why did Spider-Man refuse to fight Black Panther? Too claw-some.
What did Spidey say to Groot? “I web you too.”
🏙️ Daily Bugle Banter
Why did Peter Parker become a photographer? Because he had a flashy side.
What’s J. Jonah Jameson’s favorite coffee? Extra bitter.
Why did the Daily Bugle hire Spider-Man? He’s great at cover stories.
Why is Peter never late? He’s always snapping to it.
What headline did the Bugle run after Spider-Man saved the day? “Web Wins Again!”
Why doesn’t Jameson play hide-and-seek? He always spreads the news.
How does Peter organize his desk? With a photo finish.
Why did Peter bring an umbrella to work? For a rain of compliments.
Why did the Bugle fire the gossip columnist? She got tangled in lies.
What’s Peter’s least favorite camera mode? Spider eyes only.
🕷️ Arachnid Antics
Why did Spider-Man go to therapy? To deal with his web of emotions.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of bread? Multi-grain web.
Why did Spidey break his smartphone? He swiped wrong.
How does Spider-Man invest his money? In the web market.
Why did Spidey open a computer store? To sell web browsers.
What does Spider-Man say when he finishes his homework? All web and done.
Why did Spider-Man take up knitting? He’s a natural at spinning yarn.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite breakfast? Toasty web-els.
Why did Spidey love camping? So he could sleep in his webbed hammock.
How does Spider-Man write so neatly? Perfect spider script.
🕶️ Peter Parker Problems
Why can’t Peter Parker ever keep a secret? His stories always unravel.
Why did Peter fail math class? He got caught in the wrong angle.
What’s Peter’s favorite lunch? Parker pasta.
Why did Aunt May ground Peter? He kept climbing the walls.
Why is Peter so broke? His savings keep slipping through the web.
What’s Peter’s favorite plant? Spider lilies.
Why does Peter love libraries? They’re full of spine-tingling tales.
Why did Peter trip over his laundry? He forgot to fold the web.
What’s Peter’s go-to shoe? Sneakers with grip.
Why is Peter such a good friend? He always sticks with you.
🕸️ Web-Slinging Wonders
Why did Spider-Man win at bowling? He struck every time.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite workout? Spider planks.
Why did Spidey become a DJ? To drop sick webs.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite drink? Web-pressed coffee.
Why did Spidey run for class president? To swing the vote.
How does Spider-Man tell time? With his web watch.
Why did Spidey start a YouTube channel? For more web traffic.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite musical? Into the Web.
Why did Spidey buy a skateboard? To roll with the crew.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite ride? The web coaster.
🦹 Villain Roasts
Why did Green Goblin join a cooking show? He’s great at throwing pumpkins.
What’s Venom’s favorite dessert? Black licorice.
Why did Sandman get a job at the beach? He’s shore qualified.
Why does Electro never need a flashlight? He’s lit.
What’s Vulture’s favorite game? Catch the worm.
Why did Rhino join a football team? He’s unstoppable on the rush.
Why did Lizard become a scientist? He had a reptile brain for research.
Why did Mysterio fail art class? His work lacked perspective.
Why did Shocker love baking? He knew how to whip it.
What’s Kraven’s favorite drink? Jungle juice.
🎭 Movie Moments
Why did Spider-Man love Infinity War? He got to hang out.
What’s Spidey’s favorite snack at the theater? Popcorn web-utter.
Why did Peter skip a scene? He couldn’t face the villain.
Why is Spider-Man good at acting? He always sticks to the script.
What’s Peter’s favorite Marvel movie? Far From Home.
Why did Spider-Man watch Endgame twice? To catch everything.
Why is Spidey bad at horror movies? He gets creeped out.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite cinema seat? Front web.
Why did Spider-Man bring a camera to the premiere? For flash photography.
What’s Peter’s favorite film genre? Action web-ventures.
🕸️ Tangled in Giggles
Why did Spider-Man break up with his girlfriend? She found him too clingy.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of rice? Uncle Ben’s.
Why did Spider-Man fail his driving test? He couldn’t find the parallel park-er.
How does Spider-Man like his eggs? Scram-bled.
Why did Spider-Man join TikTok? To go viral.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of pasta? Spaghetti web-onara.
Why did Spider-Man start a gardening business? He had a knack for planting traps.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite ice cream flavor? Web-berry.
Why did Spider-Man get into stand-up comedy? He wanted to spin a good story.
What does Spider-Man do at the gym? Spider curls.
🦸 Spidey Sense of Humor
Why is Spider-Man such a good baseball player? Because he catches everything in his web.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite kind of rice? The one that’s sticky.
Why did Spider-Man join a band? To hit high notes.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite mode of transportation? The web bus.
Why did Spider-Man open a bakery? For the bread and butter.
Why is Spider-Man so good at networking? He’s got connections everywhere.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite board game? Don’t Break the Web.
Why did Spider-Man go to art school? He wanted to draw attention.
How does Spider-Man find his way home? He follows his web GPS.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite snack? Web crackers.
🕷️ Villainous Laughs
Why did Venom get invited to the barbecue? Because he brings the sauce.
What’s the Green Goblin’s favorite hobby? Pumpkin carving.
Why does Doctor Octopus love cooking? He can stir eight pots at once.
Why did Sandman go to therapy? He had trouble holding it together.
Why did Electro fail math? He couldn’t conduct himself properly.
What’s Vulture’s favorite music genre? Rock.
Why did Mysterio get kicked out of the magician’s club? He made things too real.
Why did Lizard join the debate team? He liked reptile arguments.
What’s Rhino’s favorite workout? Headbutts.
Why did Kingpin open a restaurant? He wanted a big slice of the pie.
FAQs
Q: What’s a good Spider Man jokes for Instagram?
A: “Just hanging around, web-ing my way through life.”
Q: Can you make a Spider Man jokes for a birthday?
A: “Have a web-tacular birthday — may your day be amazing!”
Q: What’s a funny Spider Man food pun?
A: “I’m feeling a bit web-battered after all that pizza.”
Q: Do you have a romantic Spider Man jokes?
A: “You’ve really tangled up my heart.”
Q: What’s a good Spider Man jokes for exams?
A: “Swing into success — with great study power comes great results.”
Q6: Can you make a gym joke for Spider Man jokes?
A: “I’m just here to work on my web-press.”
Q7: What’s a kid-friendly Spider Man jokes?
A: “Why did Spider-Man go to school? To improve his web skills.”
Q: Any Spider Man jokes for gaming captions?
A: “Just unlocked my new skill — double web shot.”
Q9: What’s a perfect Spider Man jokes for teamwork?
A: “We’re stronger when we stick together.”
Q10: Do you have a quick Spider Man jokes for text messages?
A: “BRB, caught in a sticky situation.”
Conclusion
And there you have it — more Spider Man jokes than even J. Jonah Jameson could complain about! From swinging one-liners to sticky puns, our friendly neighborhood web-head has proven that humor is just another superpower. Whether you’re a lifelong Marvel fan, a meme-loving Gen Z scroller, or someone who just enjoys a pun-derful moment, these quips are sure to stick with you.
Got a Spider Man jokes that can out-sling ours? Drop it in the comments and let the world hear your pun power. And if you’re hungry for even more laugh fuel, swing by PunsPlanet.com for endless joke adventures.
